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15 Goofy Ways to Ask for Consent

May 19, 2016

1. “Welcome to Kissville, population us?

2. Wanna take that mattress for a test drive?

3. My name is Skittles. Want to taste my “rainbow”?

4. Mind if I seduce you?

5. Do you want me to help you unzip?

6. You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

7. Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty. Can I have a sip?

8. Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, how about a yes?

9. Hershey’s makes millions of kisses a day…all I’m asking for is one from you.

10. Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

11. Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?

12. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

13. You must be a campfire, cause you’re damn hot. Can I have s’more?

14. I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your bedroom?

15. You look as good as a Snickers bar. Can you satisfy me?


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Emily Hammerman

Emily is a proud graduate of Columbia College Chicago with a degree in Film and a double minor in Dance and Fiction Writing. She works as an intern for the Catharsis Productions Marketing Department.